Think before you hit that send button

Most, if not all, of us have been there.  You are mad or upset about something and you dash out an email to your loved one.  Ten minutes later you regret sending it.

I’m not saying you need to keep things from your loved one while they are deployed or away.  They like to know they are missed and such.  Definitely stay in touch with them.

We just need to learn to “edit” ourselves sometimes.  If you are really mad or upset – go ahead and write that email or letter.  Trust me, just getting it out like that can help immensely.  Save the email as a draft or keep the letter.  Wait a day or two and reread the message.  If you truly feel the same, then by all means send it.

Often we reread those and realize we don’t need to send it as is.  We can edit and take out lots of it and will not regret sending it then.  In the long run this can save a lot of hard feelings or misunderstandings.

Work At Home

Quite often, I am asked by military spouses, mostly stay-at-home-moms, what ideas I have for starting a home business, or how to go about it.

So I offer this information as a starting resource.

Before you start a home based business, you need to ask yourself some questions.

WHAT WILL THE START UP FEES BE?

HOW MUCH WILL THE OPERATING COSTS BE?

WILL I REALIZE AN IMMEDIATE INCOME?

IF I WORK FOR FREE NOW, WILL IT PAY OFF LATER?

HAVE I THE DISCIPLINE TO WORK FROM HOME?

WILL I NEED TO HIRE SITTERS FOR MY CHILDREN?

WILL I BE ABLE TO WORK AT MY OWN PACE?

HOW MUCH STRESS WILL BE INVOLVED?

WHAT DO I NEED TO GET STARTED?

It is always best to stick with what you know. Do you have a talent you can cash in on? Do you have an ORIGINAL idea that you could bring to the internet and make money from? You may have a skill or talent you are not even aware of!

If you like kids, aren’t too shy, and / or have a drop of artistic talent, you might consider trying some of these:

HIRING OUT FOR BIRTHDAY PARTIES

You can don a disguise if you wish, just be entertaining! Keep it simple too, a lot of kids can make for chaos if the activities are too involved or geared to just one age group. Plan some fun games, craft projects, face / hand painting, learn some simple magic, story telling, balloon animals, tell jokes and riddles, songs, dances…..etc!!

SANTA

Even Mom’s can fill out a red suit and ho ho ho in a manly voice! Rent yourself out for unit Christmas parties and make some extra cash for the holidays!

HOME BASED PRESCHOOL

Are you fed up with the high cost of “preschools” in military towns, that are really just glorified daycares? Start your own at home! Get your License as a Day Care Provider, and make sure you are CPR trained. Operate under the same laws as day care, but instead of just “watching the kids” EDUCATE THEM! It only takes planning and creativity! You can make it meet daily or two or three days a week. Plan good old fashioned educational activities, and field trips. This is a good idea for a couple of kid friendly mom’s. You can always ask for volunteer help from your *students* mommies, even require they help once or twice a month. Turn a room into the class room and set up play / learning stations with toys gathered at garage sales, re-sale shops, or your own children have OUT GROWN. NEVER USE YOUR OWN CHILD’S PERSONAL TOYS! It will only cause problems for you and resentment in your child.

TEMPORARY DOMESTIC

A lot of people could use temporary help before / after the birth of a child (especially multiple births), and / or after surgeries, and many are willing to pay modest fees for help. Cooking, cleaning, and errand running / chauffeuring skills can really pay off here!

NEEDLE CRAFTS

If you’re looking to turn your needlework into cash there are several different courses to take. There are many ways to make money off of your crafts or needlework. There are craft fairs and shows, craft malls, doing display works for stores, and sample pieces for distributors and designers.

First of all you can make your crafts or needlework to sell at fairs and shows around your area, or a “craft malls.” To do this you will have to consider several things. How much is the entry fee, and do you provide your own table for displays are the most common questions for crafts fairs and shows. If you would like to display at a craft mall you need to find out what percentage of your sales they keep, how much “rent” for your space, do you do your own displays or do they set them up, etc. No question is a stupid question!!! If you are unsure of something, ask!!

Craft stores always have displays of worked pieces for the customers to get an idea of what the finished piece will look like. Talk with the store manager about doing these! Some stores have the employees do these, but quite often it is customers. They usually pay in two ways. They pay by giving you a store credit for the work you do or they pay outright. Even if they pay with a store credit, that’s a nice way to decorate your home! You may or may not have to take in a sample or samples of your work to be “graded” before hand.

Stores also get their displays from the manufacturers or directly from the designers. You can contact different companies at the address listed on their kits or brochures to inquire about doing samples for them. They will let you know their requirements and if interested will have you send samples to “grade.” Designers have sample stitchers as well. Once again you need to contact the designers to inquire about their needs. If you do not have a direct address to the designer, write to them in care of the company that publishes their work or find their web page to email them!

There are various methods to make money from your crafts. I’m sure there are lots of other ideas not mentioned here. Use your imagination! Just research the area you want to go into and be prepared to show samples if needed! Good luck everyone!

Just take an inventory of every thing you are good at and you will find a home based marketable skill!

Military Spouse Virtual Assistants

Moms Network

WAHM.com

Idea Site

Clever Apple, tutoring business

Creative Thought

Ebay

Etsy

Don’t forget your girlfriends!

You may think I’m a bit daft to say that to you all. It is really good advice though.

When our spouses are home we all want to spend time with them. There is nothing wrong with that at all – we should want to spend time with them. It is always great to have them home and go for day trips, short vacations and so on. We need that time to keep our marriages strong.

But, we need to remember our girlfriends. Our girlfriends are the ones who will be there when our spouses are deployed. When your 5 year old wakes you up at 3 AM with projectile vomiting, high fever and you know you need to make an ER run, but you have a 2 year old asleep; your girlfriend is the one who will come over to stay with your 2 year old, or be with you as you head to the ER with both kids in tow. She will be there when we go into labor and our spouse is deployed.

Our girlfriends are the ones who will be there when we have not heard from our spouse, we are worried for their safety and we don’t want to go off the deep end. She’ll be there to calm us down and make us laugh.

Our girlfriends are the ones we can email daily to tell them nothing much is going on here or tell her everything that is going on at home. She’s the one you can call to have someone speak to you in complete sentences when all you hear is “toddler speak”. They listen to us on phone calls when we say we are ready to kill the kid because he dunked the cat in the toilet, or she painted a lovely scene on her bedroom wall – in Sharpie pens! She can laugh at those and say, yeah I remember when mine…

If we ignore our girlfriends while our spouse is home, we run the chance of hurting her feelings, or distancing her. We need to keep those relationships cultivated so that we don’t ignore her while the spouse is home and then all of a sudden our spouse is gone and we expect her to coming running when we need it. It doesn’t work that way. It is a give and take relationship the same as a marriage. You couldn’t expect to ignore your spouse and stay married for 50 years. The same thing with our girlfriends.

Even if you only email each other several times a week, or call once every couple of weeks. Take time to go for a cup of coffee together sometime while the kids are in school. If your kids aren’t in school, meet at the park with all the kids and let them play while you chat. You can find ways to keep that relationship in tact while your spouse is home.

In the end you will both be happier and you will have some wonderful memories years down the road. There will be plenty of times you will think back and laugh at some of your “Lucy & Ethel” moments together, some of the things you thought you would never get through without her help, or times that she just knew you needed a shoulder when you didn’t even know you needed it.

So, here’s to all the girlfriends; may you have many, may you share the sorrows, and may you share the joys. If they are a really good friend they will stay one. As an ornament one of my girlfriends gave me says – “You’ll always be my friend because you know too much”!

What to wear?

A message forum I frequent for military spouses always seems to have the topic of “what do I wear to (fill in the blank)” come up quiet often. Most people would see that and think it’s a simple thing to figure out, but not always so.

Let’s face it, the wheels of change within the military are grindingly slow. Styles and things accepted in the civilian world change with each season if not faster. With the military you are dealing with an entity that has a long history and somewhat rigid ideas of what is and is not acceptable.

My general rule of thumb is if you feel it would be acceptable in church and around your grandmother, then it should be fine for military standards. Trust me, you don’t want to be remembered as the “hoochie” who wore the dress plunged to the navel or slit up to the crotch to the ball. It’s best to keep “the girls” in their place and not in danger of making an appearance on their own as well. Your best bet is to be on the more conservative side rather than the flamboyant side.

Dress according to the uniform your spouse is required to wear. If it is formal then go with tea length to full length gowns. Semi-formal can be anything from a short cocktail dress to full length dresses. Some pantsuits are fine for semi-formal, but usually not for formal. Business wear can be pant suits, dresses, nice separates and so forth.

Currently many wives are getting tattoos, and multiple ones at that. There is nothing wrong with tattoos, but keep in mind many of the services have restrictions on the military member as to what is acceptable in tattoos. A small tattoo on the ankle, foot or calf is not that big of a deal. But, to have a huge tattoo across your entire back or chest and to have it on display in an outfit at a formal event can be disastrous. You may want to consider buying some cover up for times like that.

Same thing can go with piercings. If McDonald’s and Burger King will not allow multiple facial piercings at work, you can rest assured it would not be a good idea to wear all your piercings at a semi-formal or formal military event. And please don’t tell tales of how your nipple piercings got infected!

I know, I know, we aren’t in the military our spouse is; and what we do or look like is not supposed to affect our spouse’s career. In a perfect world that is true. There is no way to take back first impressions though and lets face it – not everyone is cool with tattoos, piercings or revealing dress. We are all human and can’t help our reactions sometimes. These things may be accepted at your spouse’s current command, but may not be at the next one.

So please be aware of how you may be perceived by others when going to military functions. And don’t shoot the messenger on this – I’m just trying to make things easier for you and your spouse.

Hello world!

Please excuse my dust while I settle in and get situated.  You know how a PCS can be – well, it can be the same on the net as it is in “real life”.  I hope to be adding more soon and hope you will join me for the ride.